Tuesday, May 5, 2009

well i was green and eager





its been just over a year since i first set off on my great adventure on wheels. a year is a very concrete and digestible measuring unit for time. i'd love to be able to quantify my change in the same way i can quantify the passage of time. what would my measuring units be? patience, surely. serenity? happiness? satisfaction? clarity? they wax and wane. i would love to be able to tell you all, to tell myself, truly and surely "_____ happened!" i would love to be able to fill in the blank and shout the resulting sentence to the heavens. problem is, i don't know exactly what happened, i just know something happened.

i could sit here (lay, rather) and write sentence after sentence of small ways i feel i am different. but these, in my mind, don't amount to the same feeling as when i say "it has been just over one year..." and that is what i am looking for. that feeling. that substance.

now it is late and books and bed are calling. before i go, i will have you realize, i do understand that while i am not able to write or measure a weighty change, it does not mean that one has not taken place.

No comments: