Monday, August 9, 2010

its easy, you only need to know

still up here, and my meltdown about returning is mounting. really focusing on one day at a time. working on being present in each moment of each day (this is hard!). took care of lots of odds and ends, including calling the court regarding my first speeding ticket (!!! - this was bound to happen sometime, i suppose, but i still cried for five minutes while pulling away from the scene of the crime) spent a few days with denise and chiara and a new friend isa. swam and saw waterfalls and ate mexican and sang around a campfire. i suppose at some point i must have really let loose because denise started kissing me on the head and saying "you are making me so happy right now" wouldn't it be lovely if my whole life could just be like that? currently talking to jenny about how some higher power should review every major life decision i choose to make, because.....not sure how i ended up here now, twenty-seven years old, sitting in my pajamas at almost three thirty in the afternoon in my dad's basement, but...i'm certainly here. so.....

anyways this post was supposed to be about singing around the campfire but somehow it turned into something else. could i also ask that all you asian robots please stop commenting on this blog? holy annoying!

be young be free

Monday, August 2, 2010

some people say the sky is just the sky

hello from the green lands up north!

just a quick one to begin august:

the days start slow and then sink into the ground in a way that reminds me of watering a thirsty house plant (ending with that gurgling noise- more more more). i know summer will soon be over and its always bittersweet. this summer has felt endless and i can't say i care but i also do not relate when people say "how is it august already?!?" its a painstaking affair for me to fill my days with trivial and non-trivial activities. i can say i've been reconnecting and connecting with people who i see being positive forces. i smell like campfire often and feel sentimental even more than that. i'm finding it hard to put words to this right now. and by this i mean whatever ache or longing or song is inside of me. i guess i'm just waiting for life to kiss me on the forehead.

(somehow i managed to lose the battery charger for my digital camera. i don't know what this means for us. when it turns up i guess you'll know...)