Tuesday, January 27, 2009

we had a time, we had a time, we had a time, oh what a time

so i've been bumming around on the internet for an hour or so, and i can't seem to find anything else to entertain myself, so now i've resorted to this. i hope it isn't too painful for my two followers.

i composed a few blog posts in my head, mostly about reflections on the past, and i am going to try to get them out now.

i live in my hometown once again, and although this isn't my final resting place, i must say that being back here has made me realize what a good place this was to grow up. as i drive around my town i recite all the names of the children i knew that lived in the houses. i wonder if their parents still live in them. i really REALLY surprise myself most of the time with remembering younger or older siblings. saying the names is some sort of cathartic experience. johanna and elizabeth, anistasia, christiana and dean, michael, amanda, suzanna and martha, diana and david, chris, carly and matt, kelli and shawn. sharing a childhood with someone is like sharing all your secrets. its funny how much you can know about people you probably won't ever see again.

the other thing i've been doing a lot is remembering all the surfaces in my dad's old house. i only lived there for about two years but if i really try i can remember all the wall papers, floors, counter tops, and carpets. the memory of one surface seems to pull another from kind of vault that lives in the exact center of my brain. the upstairs bathroom was connected to my room (pink) and also to the hallway (some kind of white/blue paisley-ish wallpaper), it was yellow tiled and had this sparkling yellow pink blue and white butterfly wallpaper that i'm sure was also in the brady bunch house. the mirror was giant and had one of those sliding medicine cabinet shelves underneath it. the sink was yellow and the countertop was white formica with some gold marble texture. the toilet was yellow. there was one window. it had some kind of whispy white drapes. there was a hamper and a scale. the towel bars were built in.

remembering things isn't that hard, it just takes the right circumstances. being here has pulled things out of my brain that i never even knew were stored to begin with. there is something both restoring and encouraging in knowing memories exist. each a small warm and soothing reminder of the power of life itself.

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