only one place for a man to go when he's worried about his life

well hi. i forgot to write in this because i was too busy falling apart. and/or moving. whatever.

now i can write because i'm out on the open road. my little cousin flew into new york on monday and we left new york this morning. i am writing this little message to you all from lovely ronks, pa, in the heart of lancaster county, pennsylvania dutch country!

i drove over the verrazano for the first time and through staten island over the goethels into new jersey. picked up 95 and drove through the filth that is new jersey. my cousin said "i thought people were just giving new jersey shit but it really is a terrible place" true. 95 lead to 276 and snaked around philadelphia in the pouring rain. so much rain! so so so much rain. i am hoping that the rain will wash all the things out of the air that are making me feel like i am asleep at all times. the rain was so intense that i thought about pulling over and definitely chanted "i hate this i hate this i hate this" over and over. my cousin helped with that, very reassuring co-pilot. we arrived in the farmland on us-30 and it is just so precious here. every buggy we saw on the road we had to peek inside to make sure it wasnt just a robot driving to give the illusion of amish about. THEY ARE REAL. at one point we even saw a mom with two kids that were wearing straw hats!! i really yelped at that one. we love the amish with their bulk flavored gelatin and pie and fudge and crafts. bless their hearts!

tomorrow we are off to rural virginia and we may soak in some hot springs somewhere. there are pictures to be seen on flickr and i will have some things to show you at some point, but for now i am sleepy and there is cable tv here at the dutch treat motel so i'm going to pajama myself and enjoy that right now.

its no secret that i'm working through some really thick emotional muck right now and i have to apologize for the absence of my usual literacy when it comes to this blog. let's hope the heat and the road and the music and singing and air and stars and smells and food and all of america brings me back to life. if it doesn't i think you can expect some blogs from the fucking insane asylum in the near future. do they let you use computers in mental hospitals? let's hope so...