been thinking this over for many long nights

this is all i've got for now but don't give up on me and i won't give up on me either

if that's not reincarnation then what is it?

i want to tell you everything about everything but the internet is so sparse and camping is just cheaper. we're in hot springs, arkansas and we soaked in 6ft bathtubs today. its hotter than sin and we're sweating like hookers in church. fear not! we are enjoying every moment. i hope all y'all are well and you'll be hearing from me again soon, you can bet on that.

feel free to find pictures here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/happycuties/


love!

only one place for a man to go when he's worried about his life

well hi. i forgot to write in this because i was too busy falling apart. and/or moving. whatever.

now i can write because i'm out on the open road. my little cousin flew into new york on monday and we left new york this morning. i am writing this little message to you all from lovely ronks, pa, in the heart of lancaster county, pennsylvania dutch country!

i drove over the verrazano for the first time and through staten island over the goethels into new jersey. picked up 95 and drove through the filth that is new jersey. my cousin said "i thought people were just giving new jersey shit but it really is a terrible place" true. 95 lead to 276 and snaked around philadelphia in the pouring rain. so much rain! so so so much rain. i am hoping that the rain will wash all the things out of the air that are making me feel like i am asleep at all times. the rain was so intense that i thought about pulling over and definitely chanted "i hate this i hate this i hate this" over and over. my cousin helped with that, very reassuring co-pilot. we arrived in the farmland on us-30 and it is just so precious here. every buggy we saw on the road we had to peek inside to make sure it wasnt just a robot driving to give the illusion of amish about. THEY ARE REAL. at one point we even saw a mom with two kids that were wearing straw hats!! i really yelped at that one. we love the amish with their bulk flavored gelatin and pie and fudge and crafts. bless their hearts!

tomorrow we are off to rural virginia and we may soak in some hot springs somewhere. there are pictures to be seen on flickr and i will have some things to show you at some point, but for now i am sleepy and there is cable tv here at the dutch treat motel so i'm going to pajama myself and enjoy that right now.

its no secret that i'm working through some really thick emotional muck right now and i have to apologize for the absence of my usual literacy when it comes to this blog. let's hope the heat and the road and the music and singing and air and stars and smells and food and all of america brings me back to life. if it doesn't i think you can expect some blogs from the fucking insane asylum in the near future. do they let you use computers in mental hospitals? let's hope so...

shoulda been different but it wasn't different was it?

this is so right on

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): When people are truly dehydrated, the
impulse that tells them they're thirsty shuts down. That's why they may
not know they're suffering from a lack of water. In a metaphorically similar
way, Pisces, you have been deprived so long of a certain kind of emotional
sustenance that you don't realize what you're missing. See if you can find
out what it is, and then make measured (non-desperate!) plans to get a
big, strong influx of it. The cosmic rhythms will be on your side in this
effort!


going to work on it work on it work on it

and the light of the night fell on me

and so begins another cycle of packing and moving and unpacking.
i found a place to live!





the top picture will be my new room. the second picture will be the main space, a kitchen/living room combo. you'll have to use your imagination slightly because its not yet finished. should my room be light green or light blue? somehow i am feeling like i want light blue this time?



that's my room right now. i would either probably paint it the same color or something like this:




any thoughts? i need to feel it out. my past two rooms in new york have been light green, maybe i'm getting bored of it. blue is feeling so appealing to me at the moment.

its funny in new york, most people move quite a bit, and i am certainly one of those. i was running over all my old addresses in my head and making a compare/contrast list: 559 lorimer, 339 graham, 573 lorimer, 103 skillman, 901 grand. this time my number is even. this will be the first even address i've lived at in my entire life. my childhood addresses were a 77 and a 39 and now my dad lives at 81. i mean......? i'm taking this evenness as a good sign. as a sign of legit divisibility without fractions. i'm going to run with this theory and you will most certainly be kept posted.

as for me, i'm finished with school for the semester. i'm hoping i keep my 3.7 gpa. i'm hoping i have a lazy sunny summer filled with lots of joyful substance and i turn brown as a berry and everything is fine as can be. i'm selling at the hester street fair tomorrow, and hopefully most weekends for the rest of the summer. i have so many new shoes to debut!

i'll leave you with a picture of my new little house:




and that's that. life without a set schedule is bizarre. cheers!

your pain and your hunger are driving you home

with just one look i was a bad mess

having a full-on total-town breakdown over here.

not going to go into detail because who knows what lurks on the internet. hello future perspective employer! in tried-and-true cryptic internet fashion i will post song lyrics and a link to a live performance of the song, which cannot be embedded in this blog, embedding has been disabled, fuck off.


Air pollution, revolution, you know I've had my fill.
Advertisin', computerizin', don't understand it and I never will.

Got to get back to some good time livin'
Got to get out where the air is sweet.
Got to, got to get back livin'
Work with our hands, live off the land,
Feel good clean earth under your feet.

Isolation, segregation, government controls
Call it a cop out gotta drop out.
You and me we gotta save our souls.

Got to get back to some good time livin'
Got to get out where the air is sweet.
Got to, got to get back livin'
Work with our hands, live off the land,
Feel good clean earth under your feet.

You're gonna take to planting flowers everywhere.
We'll find a world of simple pleasures we can share.

Gotta, gotta, got, got, to get back living.

you may find this song HERE