close our eyes and feel the light coming down for the night

raining raining raining raining i'm tired but i am not defeated and i will smile my way through all of this you just wait and see you you you (you) i dare you to just stare at me don't blink you might miss the moment i flash my first molars


(i wanted to tell you about thanksgiving, i wanted to tell you about my weekend, i wanted to load you, like icing, into a pastry bag and then extrude you. then you could understand. but maybe it was more like a perfume atomizer. maybe it was more like a fireplace bellows. perhaps it was a squirtgun. a supersoaker. nerf gun! either/or it was a force and then i was out and walking on a wheel again. remember my smile! it sort of makes the whole image okay, no? i still live from day to day. day to day. its the piece of my tree life that i have not forgotten. nothing can defeat us. one day and then another day. of this i mostly solemnly swear)

you better chase all your cares away

attempting to channel this for the next three weeks

there's nothing like finding gold between the rocks hard and cold

music makes everything better always

she puts her hands against the life she had

gosh its either that time of month or something is actually wrong.
i scratched this today while riding to school:


oh to be sweetly reclining in my own mind!
i think this place is already driving me mad. the public eye of scrutiny is one i cannot seem to get out from under, and i just wish i was able to lay about in my own head; slowly choosing which buds and blossoms of my memory i would smell and then clip in my hair.



it can't be a good thing that i close my eyes every night and imagine myself anywhere but where i am. i pretend the clashing grinding banging booming trucks are the loud brisk and hollow train and that when i wake up there will be some kind of dapple of nature filtered sun touching me with gentle hands. its all brash and no matter how many plants i hang in my windows i'm still here with black dust settling on all my prized possessions (my heart, my once bright skin, games, books, elvis statues, etc.)

and now I've opened up my eyes, and found it's all been just a great big fairytale

kaitlin and i just tried to make a zine based on okcupid personals. it sort of worked. then she prematurely expired on the couch. (i hope she is okay). <---is that correct grammar? (stephanie?)
(i will share our results one day. if there can be a http://naomihulahoops.com/, there can be a http://kbzines2krule.com

i wonder what zoey deschanel and ben gibbard are like in real life.
i potentially really like her cotton commercials.
i also really really love that country-singing dancer-with-the-stars: julianne hough. i maybe also love her brother and can't wait to see who wins the finale but thats just me!


hey guys i can't wait to get back to the country. somehow everything seems more sound there. remember that idea for a commune built from friends that everyone has? why doesn't that happen more often? not for nothing, its a really excellent idea. i think now denise may be mentally on-board. (denise?) i also have some feeling i could get luke barber-smith to be a true participant.

i hope you all know, i am a very sentimental person.


a lot of ideas are glitter in the snowglobe of my life. i guess if you become my eighth subscriber you'll get a backstage tour?

many many people take it for a game

um....yes please? phew! whatta babe!

you'll never know what's coming round the bend

here i am!

feeling like i should blog because the genius lightning has been striking me all day but now that i'm here i'm having performance anxiety or something. sorry y'allz!

another secret i will share: last night i wrote in my real paper journal. i hadn't done that since sometime in july after i returned from my minnesota drive. i really had the zest for it last night, putting the pen to the paper was feeling actually so excellent and i think i managed to scrawl a whole three pages (front and back!). mostly it was filling in my journal with my life changes since i last wrote, of which there are many, but i also noted how i feel less creative and less intellectual and less of most things here in the city. on the one hand i have my friends around me now, and better food, and generally more happenings; but on the other i do not have nature. i do not have silence. i do not have rejuvenating sleep. i do not have music SO LOUD and a big oven and a big fridge filled with treats. and trees and snow and leaves and birds and woodchucks lookin in my door!

today i feel so restless and i may have to break out buns of steel volumes 1-3 just to work off some of this crazy energy i have. that would probably be quite the wise child idea. maybe i will play some games of solitaire with actual cards. wowwwww. or maybe i will do laundry? paint my toenails? take a shower? vacuum? dust? sweep? fluff pillows? hang pictures? water plants? watch movies? take a yoga class? play piano? become a trapeze artist??

now that i've done such a crackerjack job of convincing you all of my genius, i think its time to go.



(and thanks to jiwon for snapping that picture of us three girls in the lovely light all searching in our giant bags for something at the very same time)